When your marriage has ended and you find yourself single for the first time in years, you may suddenly realize that you miss the companionship of having someone else in your life. While it’s not uncommon to want to jump back into the dating game to test the waters, there’s a few things you’ll want to take into consideration before starting anything serious.
While everyone has different mechanisms for coping with divorce, most people need some time between ending their previous relationship and building a new one. If you start a new relationship too quickly, you may be setting the groundwork for a second divorce.
Even though dating someone new might seem appealing when you’re going through a divorce, give yourself a healthy amount of time to assess what you’re really looking for in a partner. Identify the issues you had with your previous partner and try to avoid people with similar attributes.
While divorce can be difficult on children, it’s much better alternative than staying in an unhealthy relationship. However, it’s best not to complicate a marital split early on by introducing a new face into the mix, particularly when your kids may still be going through feelings of separation and anxiety.
Give your children some time to adjust to their new living arrangement before bringing a new significant person into their lives.
However, if you feel the need to date, or you’re already dating someone, talk to your new partner about meeting your children, and how it’s going to be handled. It’s best not to hide the relationship for an extended period of time, because if your children find out that you’re keeping it secret, it may create trust issues.
Sometimes when people ask about potentially dating during a separation, it’s because they’re already in a relationship.
If this is the case, keep your relationship appropriate in front of the children. There’s nothing inherently wrong with dating during a divorce, but flaunting a new relationship or behaving inappropriately in front of the kids may create unnecessary roadblocks to resolving the case. If it’s possible, you may also want to consider putting things on hold during the divorce, as new relationships tend to make the process more difficult. Amicable separations can turn into messy breakups if your previous partner finds out you’re already seeing someone else.
Explain to your new partner that you just want your divorce to be as clean and drama-free as possible, and that you’d like to slow things down a bit until the storm has passed.
Telling your spouse about your new relationship may be uncomfortable, and even a little scary, but it’s far better than them finding out on their own.
If your ex hears about your new partner from your children, or just happens to see you in public, it may create feelings of mistrust and betrayal which can make your divorce proceedings far more awkward and difficult.
Instead, it may be best to have an open conversation with your spouse about your new relationship. This will show your ex that you’re honest and have enough respect to tell them the truth, and can also help to keep your divorce proceedings as amicable as possible.
When it comes to considering a new relationship during your divorce, you don’t have to make the decision all by yourself. Instead, contact the experienced divorce lawyers at Babbitt & Dahlberg. We’ll use our combined 60 years of experience to give you our best advice, help you talk to your spouse, and work with you to figure out what’s best for your children during this difficult time in your life.
Give us a call at 614-228-4200, or contact us via our online form to schedule a consultation today.